Happy Birthday to Me

This is me in my last frontal nudity shot

Forty two, that is how old I am today. My kids think I am ancient my friends think I've still got a ways to go.  I think that for the first time ever in 42 year I am exactly where I want to be.

That is a very strange feeling best explained perhaps by how I used to feel. I used to feel like I was never going to grow up, that I was never going to grasp the responsibilities and nuances of adulthood. I harboured an innate understanding that I was not real in my life. That my friends and family were doing 'grown up' with a capability that I simply did not process. Even standing in the middle of my own living room surrounded by my life, home, furnishings, bills, husband and kids tugging at my pant legs I always held the feeling inside that I was an impostor, a little kid playing grown-up. Feeling like somebody else was surly better suited for the job. I have spent a great deal of my adult life wondering when I was going to grow up.

I wondered  a lot about those women who walk with great confidence and reach out to people they know and strangers alike. What did their parents do to instill such poise and command in them and how can I teach that to my own children. I want them to grow up to be those people comfortable enough in their own skin to wear their hearts on the outside regardless of the opinion of others. I want to be that person. I have spend 42 years wondering if that will ever be me, if I will ever be comfortable, confident and unafraid. How long does it take to develop an appreciation of yourself?

It has taken me 42 years.

To arrive at that place I thought belonged to everybody else, I am finally feeling empowered and deserving of the life other grown ups are enjoying. I am growing faith in a place where fear used to be, understanding where there was only inadequacy and sharing my joy outwardly instead of believing that I am not big enough to make a difference in the world.

I am going to celebrate my birthday today for the first time ever. It took some time, 42 years to be exact but I made it  to my own party. Pour me a drink and turn up the music this is going to be fun.

...and I know what to say to my kids now... Be patient.

Have a happy Friday everyone! Gratitude, Hope and Smiles are meant to be shared,
Michelle

Thursday...Your turn @ the Table

Today's 'Your Turn @ the Table' post will be kicked off by a much older me. No, it's not my birthday. I did however, age significantly when I woke up this morning and realized that today my daughter turns 16! She's an amazing young woman, full of energy and humour, she brings me so much to be grateful for everyday!


And she looks pretty good for a 16 year old...don't you think?

 That's my greatest gratitude today from a sea of things to be grateful for.

Your Turn @ The Table.....What's your Gratitude?

Thursday, Your Turn @ the Table

Thursday, the day of the week when we get around the table in the Space and ask "what's your grateful?"

Today I am grateful for a lovely birthday yesterday, an afternoon of work sponsored by my very nice boss, dairy queen ice cream cake, kids who like to celebrate, many wonderful birthday wishes and a dog named Max who sang me Happy Birthday! It's true and yes I was sober, I didn't imagine it! Max you need your moment on YouTube!

Your turn...What's your gratitude?

Spend some moment everyday in reflection of gratitude and happiness. Even if the time found is standing in line for coffee...use is wisely.


Michelle


Did this post brighten your day? make you smile? If so I'd be ever so grateful if you shared it on Facebook or Twitter. Someone else might be in need of a smile - Thanks!

While Blogger Was Busted....

Blogger is back. My most recent post however is not (insert four letter literary crayons)

While the folks at Blogger were troubleshooting and creating solutions here is what I created...



A birthday cake for a Redwings Fan.
After being eliminated last night I thought about calling
and asking if they wanted something else.

Instead I offered my condolences



A Mickey Mouse Club birthday cake
for a 1st birthday.

What did you do while your Blogging hands were tied???

Spend some moment everyday in reflection of gratitude and happiness. Even if the time found is standing in line for coffee...use is wisely.


Michelle


Did this post brighten your day? make you smile? If so I'd be ever so grateful if you shared it on Facebook or Twitter. Someone else might be in need of a smile - Thanks!

Wednesday's Example of Domestic Bliss #2

Maybe you will look at this picture and think "is it International Chocolate Cake Day again?" Sorry to disappoint, that glorious observance only comes once a year.

What you see does however bring as much joy to my family as International Chocolate Cake Day. It's a finished cake The inside is vanilla and chocolate cake layered with creamy chocolate filling. It's a cake for a mentally challenged senior whose greatest joy are two yellow tennis balls. That is not what makes my family joyful.

Remember I said it was a finished cake? It's the finished part that they are grateful for. I love to make cakes, I love to decorate them. I am however a wee bit of a perfectionist and the very thing that I love to do also pops a spring in my head and I go a little bazerk.

Just ask them, they will all tell you there is nothing worse than the hours while I am working on a cake. They will also tell you there is no finer moment to be grateful for then when that finished cake hits a box!


Spend some moment everyday in reflection of gratitude and happiness. Even if the time found is standing in line for coffee...use is wisely.

Michelle

Did this post brighten your day? make you smile? If so I'd be ever so grateful if you shared it on Facebook or Twitter. Someone else might be in need of a smile - Thanks!

Pssst, Pass the Remote

Michael celebrated another birthday this week. I say 'another' like he's an old fart, he's not old exactly (that would make me old too and well, no.) He has reached an age however where he has everything and no one is really quite sure what to buy him. Which leads to gifts like this....

The "Man Remote" has some clever control options. Clearly designed by a man, as evidenced by the "nagging" more/less and "fetch" features.

World's Greatest Celebrates Another One

I love today. Yes it's the first day of spring, the air is fresh, hope is alive on the breeze. You can feel the anticipation of warmer days and the fresh spring scents of hyacinths, crocus and new grass.


It is no secret that winter is the least favourite of my seasons. The cold, bitter winds, the slogging through snow drifts and slush make me weep inside. By mid March I am ready to commit to permanent hibernation. It's easy to understand then, why, today would bring me such joy.


Joy that is doubled because today is also Michael's birthday. Gratitude abounds today as I welcome the end of seasonal discomfort and celebrate how my life has been blessed by a fabulous man born on the first day of spring.

Michael & E-man

You Wait 364 Days

A big day in our house today. We've been counting down the sleeps. Today is E-man's Birthday!

Having a birthday gives a kid a thousand reasons to be grateful. He's joined me this morning and turned "Me" time into "We" time. It's really nice right now... later when he's completely exhausted from being up this early, maybe not so much. Anyway, he's helping me write and wants to make sure I get all of his gratefuls for today.

• Grateful my friends could all come for my party.
• Grateful for birthday presents.
• Grateful for grab bags.
• Grateful for Birthday cake.
• Grateful for a sleepover tonight.
• Grateful for a hockey game last night.
• Grateful for balloons.
• Grateful KJ is going to collect Rangers Autographs for me.
• Grateful Dad got the rink all ready for my party.

Clearly, turning 9 gives you a lot to be grateful for! Being the parent brings to mind your own set a gratefuls for the day.

• Grateful birthday parties only last a few hours.
• Grateful for party stores that offer a selection so awesome and so endless that you really don't need to make any other plans for the day apart from packing a lunch to enjoy in aisle 28.
• Grateful that kids have attention spans short enough to be impressed with low quality plastic do-nothings and powdered sugar in their loot-bags.
• Grateful that if you are a cake decorator your kids would rather get a cake from Dairy Queen like everyone else.
• Grateful that balloons come in 1LB packages...this way you never run out.
• Grateful that in the minds of 9 year olds, french fries are a perfectly acceptable vegetable.
• Grateful that Birthday boys want to help get everything just right and are willing to get up at 5:30 am just to make sure it all comes together.
• Grateful for the happy coincidence that the time dosing time on a bottle of advil mirrors the average length of a birthday party.

Other gratefuls come to mind too. Gratitude for the precious gift of a child, for the unconditional love and joy they bring into your life. There is gratitude for the perspective they shine on lifes difficulties. Gratitude for the laughter and the hugs and the kisses. Gratitude for the better person they require you to be.

Today E-man celebrates the party and adventure, the cake, the presents, the friends and the festivities of turning 9. While he does I'll be celebrating the gift he is to me.