You Said You Would Go, Now Do it Gracefully

Another 'my mother used to say' catch phrase, only this time I don't really despise it like the majority things my mother said through my childhood. This one I kind of appreciate. I have even used it on my own children, without that terror that usually presses down on me when I find myself sounding like my mother.

I remember the first time I heard her say it, she was sitting on the edge of her bed staring into the mirror, brushing her hair or putting on mascara. We were getting ready for an old lady party.The kind where they serve cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off and everybody smells like lilacs. I was 13 or 14 and I really, REALLY did not want to spend my Sunday afternoon sipping tea and eating gerchins. I was complaining profusely. (I know that now because I have a 14 year old, that's how they complain) At some point in my objection my mother put down what she was doing, looked me straight in the eye and said it "You said you would go, now do it gracefully." She had me and I hated her for it. There was no rebuttal that could knock that line off it's podium. I had said I would go. I was locked in for the afternoon.

Motherhood has taught me that my Mother didn't want to go either. However, she said she would so she was going to do it gracefully. Her survival technique was to drag me along with her. (why should she suffer alone)

While at the time I shot daggers at my mom for so skillfully putting me in my place, this really is a line that has gotten me through (and to) a great deal in my life. For someone who suffered immobilizing anxiety for most of her life, getting to things is challenging, getting through things is critical. Even now that I've over come 90% of my anxiety issues I lean on this line for those social engagements that I'm still working to overcome. But conquering mental illness is a story for another day.

For today I am grateful that "You said you would, now do it gracefully" got me through the weekend. The reverberating line got me through dog sitting (well, this line,a bottle of Prosolve and a healthy dose of Advil). 'You said you would' got me to the ice rink for a skate with my son and my husband. 'Do it gracefully' prevented broken bones. 'You said you would' is getting me dressed for the office today when I would much rather be curled up with a hot coffee, my thoughts and my keyboard. 'You said you would' got a less than great feeling Lula to work on Sunday, 'Do it gracefully' got her to the end of her shift with a smile on her face. 'You said you would' kept KJ on task catching up with her studies and studying for exams. 'You said you would' got the dog for a walk and the laundry done. 'Do it gracefully' got me through a stranger encounter this weekend and will coach me through the death claim calls I will have to make this week.

Of all of the things my mother has given to me in my life, this line may be the most valuable. I'm grateful for that.

Gratitude, Hope & Smiles are meant to be shared.
Michelle

Harvesting Hope, Giving Thanks

We had a very big table to get around last night for gratitude sharing. I was very glad that we decided to load our plates first and share while dining. You would expect gratitude for 21 people to take some time, it took us about 20 minutes. Thank you to the person who decided we should share in chronological order of age, forcing us all to not only ponder our gratitude but also our cognitive skills.

Eventually, we got all the way around the table (oldest to youngest, with only a couple slip ups) and some fabulous gratitude was shared...There was plenty of gratitude for good food, good company and good weather, There were a few comedic gratitudes. KJ was grateful that Uncle Rob didn't eat all the green goop, and for the best turkey of life. Mike's mom was grateful that she wasn't as old as Poppa.

Some of the most telling gratitudes came from the youngest members of our dining party. Trooper was grateful for his house, E-man was grateful for pumpkin pie, Tippy-Toes was grateful that his Mom & Dad were nice.

I spent a great deal of time reflecting on gratitude while busy preparing for thanksgiving in the preceding days. Gratitude is a very personal element to my life and I wondered of all the things I have been grateful for in this past year what is the one item that I am most Grateful for? When it came to my turn at the table I shared 'Hope'

'Hope'  has been the emotion behind a great many of my gratitudes over the past year after all, and I think it is probably time to acknowledge it.

Hope is a driving force. Hope makes my daughters' smile when they get texts from those special boys they don't want anyone to know about. Hope glints in my son's eyes when he steps onto the ice for his first year of hockey. Hope brings my boys together for some bonding as they cheer on their team. When my sister updates her status that 'tomorrow will be a better day', hope does that. When friends share support and hugs with one another they are sharing hope. Hope got the turkey to the table. Hope keeps the lights on even when the job that pays the bills no longer fulfills your spirit. Hope gives me the strength to be patient when my patiences have been tested past their reasonable limits, that same hope keeps my children from a bottomless grounding. Hope has gotten families through illness and surgeries. Hope brings people home from the hospital and will send a group of co-workers to donate blood to help a friend battle cancer. Hope fills the food bank, rebuilds a town, provides warmth, quiets fear and gives people a reason to try one more time.

Hope has provided me so much to be grateful for in this year of celebrating gratitude. As we shared around the table it was easy to see that hope is the seed from which most gratitude sprouts.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, live in hope, acknowledge your gratitude and share it. A grateful heart can change a life.