More in the Box Than We Bargained For

KJ brought home one of those projects the other day, you know, one of THOSE projects... All About Me. The only project with the power to paralyze me worse than a bridge project is the "All About Me Project"

An All About Me project means that I will be scavenging through the photo box for a kindergarten picture from 9 years ago. My powers of memory recall and personal trivia will be measured and tested;

• "What time was I born?"
• "How much did I weigh?"
• "What was my first word?"
• "What was the name of the grandson of the lady who lived four houses down that I sprayed with the hose?"

 I should probably confess right now, that I don't know this stuff. I am not the mother who can recall the thing you were eating when you lost your first tooth or what colour ribbons you wore in your hair on the first day of school. Heck, the other day I forgot how to print the number 9 my kids are doomed

If you are one of those super Moms you probably think very little of me right now. If you have ever had to ask one of your children to confirm their birthday or grade in school you will sympathize with the pain I felt when that first question went live on Sunday evening... "How much did I weigh when I was born?"

I tried to be the good Mom..."8lbs 4oz." I blurted out. Immediately I realized I was wrong, I could tell by the look on Michael's face. His expression resembling the look you might expect if grandma willed you the false teeth. The debate was on. I tried to rationalize KJ's birth weight by ordinating it among Lula and E-man's weights but I had those wrong too, so my strategy was flawed from the start. Eventually we all headed upstairs to "the BOX"

I have a box for each of my kids, each box containing hospital bracelets, footprints, cards, locks of hair, favourite dresses, hats that sort of thing. I went into motherhood knowing that detail is not my strong suit and knowing that I better have a strong back up system.

I opened the box, and I choked up a little, looking at my girl holding up the little sleeper that she came home from the hospital in, (she has bras bigger than it now.) I reached for the hospital card that listed her details...7lbs 11oz...."Ok, I loose." I conceded. Then I watched as KJ sifted through the rest of the box, giggling and snickering. All I could think, was how much things change, and how far she has come.

I was lost in reflection when KJ asked "One shoe, why is there only one shoe?"

I laughed, I had forgotten all about it. "Because your sister has the other one." KJ looked at me like grandma had willed her the false teeth.

I looked at her and I started with ....

...."when you were born we were broke, like really broke." (and we were, a string of layoffs and ill timed plant closures, a broken car and a house held together mostly with duct tape and bubble gum. We were living on love and fumes.)

"When you needed walking shoes, we could afford to steal the pair from your sister's baby box."

Still she was holding grandma's teeth, except now she was laughing.

"That's where you come from" I said. THAT is why I get frustrated when you kids complain that you don't have everything you want... there was a time when you only had 1 shoe.

She left (rolling her eyes, I'm sure)

Then I laughed harder. E-man's box doesn't have any shoes (yes, he wore them too!)

Gratitude that while we were busy concentrating on the things that weren't 'things' we came a long way too. Gratitude that life has unique ways of reminding you what is important.

Spend some moment everyday in reflection of gratitude and happiness. Even if the time found is standing in line for coffee...use is wisely.

Michelle


Did this post brighten your day? make you smile? If so I'd be ever so grateful if you shared it on Facebook or Twitter. Someone else might be in need of a smile - Thanks!

Thursday...Your turn @ the Table

Today's 'Your Turn @ the Table' post will be kicked off by a much older me. No, it's not my birthday. I did however, age significantly when I woke up this morning and realized that today my daughter turns 16! She's an amazing young woman, full of energy and humour, she brings me so much to be grateful for everyday!


And she looks pretty good for a 16 year old...don't you think?

 That's my greatest gratitude today from a sea of things to be grateful for.

Your Turn @ The Table.....What's your Gratitude?

Breaking A Leg

E-man is about to break out of his comfort zone, in a very BIG way.

You may remember my request for school age appropriate humour. The request came in an effort to help E-man prepare a routine for the end of the year school talent show. (you can revisit that post; "Is This Thing On?" )

I can not speak for all of us but I can tell you, that I myself, am absolutely amazed at his interest in putting himself on display. This is my young man who suffers from debilitating stress induced migraines. The boy who can chew a red ring around his lips in less than an hour in reaction to nerve wracking circumstances. He is the very last of my children that I would have pegged the family Thespian. Yet here we go...

He stated his desire, he asked for our support. We scripted a 'bit'; A Rick Mercer inspired comedy news skit. We made props, sourced wardrobe and solicited practice audiences. E-man has been practicing his heart out!

Auditions were held two weeks ago for the talent show. When I inquired about how the audition went, E responded "I think I nailed it!"

Nail it he did...he secured a spot in the show and the real work got underway. More practice, more rehearsals, more pretend performances, He has mastered the timing and the choreography of the 'Bit'...He is ready! The show is Thursday, I've booked time off work to see it unfold, Lula has her video camera charged and  ready to capture E-man's stage debut.

I am still trying to figure out how a child who can't call his Grandpa on the phone has found the nerves and ambition to perform in front of an audience of a couple hundred peers and teachers. I understand that certain performers like Tom Hanks, Lucille Ball and Jim Carey where once upon a time, incredibly shy people. What I can't figure out is what possessed them say "Hey, I'd like to perform for people!"

Regardless of whether or not I can bend my head around it, I am incredibly grateful that he is feeling confident enough to take the risk. So many of us carry that nagging conversation around in our hearts..."If only I had....(insert that thing here). 

I think I just learned one of life's biggest lessons from my super shy, nervous wreck of a boy who has committed himself to breaking a leg (and hopefully a life time cycle of apprehension)

Stay tunes for the video after Thursday's Big Show!

Spend some moment everyday in reflection of gratitude and happiness. Even if the time found is standing in line for coffee...use is wisely.


Michelle


Did this post brighten your day? make you smile? If so I'd be ever so grateful if you shared it on Facebook or Twitter. Someone else might be in need of a smile - Thanks!

A Milestone for KJ...and for Mom

KJ graduated from grade 8 on Thursday or rather I should say she graduated to highschool. Entering Highschool and enjoying the freedom and Independence it promises has been a driving force for KJ especially during those arduous math classes.

In preparation for Graduation (here on referred to as "the Event") KJ and I skipped off school and work last Friday for a day at the mall. Did I say mall, as in singular? I misspoke. I should have said 'every single retail establishment within 100 km of our home!' We searched for a dress, found a dress then searched every other location for said dress in the correct size, settled for a very beautiful dress, ate lunch (do mall fries count as lunch?) searched for shoes, searched for shoes, and searched for shoes, we found shoes, we thanked the nice lady for ringing us through after the store closing. We arrived home just before 10pm where the rest of life was waiting to be cared for. I was proud that I had survived 12 hours of shopping without a single tantrum! (KJ was pleased too, those moments are so embarrassing for her.)

Event shopping complete, KJ packed her bags and was off to Ottawa for 3 days for some year end celebration and relaxing with her classmates. Those poor teachers returned visibly exhausted! That made "the Event," on the day following their return, easy I would imagine. A little fuel to get these kids out of their hair for good!

KJ with big sis Lula and Little Bro E-man

Event day arrived and KJ had the entire afternoon to prepare. She painted her nails and arranged for her cousin to pop by to curl up her hair. She was beautiful and ready on time (strange for a kid who is perpetually late for everything) I finished pressing her dress and helped her with her final details, then she was off to to school with her BFF. Giving me time to get ready myself.

Before she left she leaned in close to me and said "Promise you won't cry." she remembers Lula's Event, at which I was crying. KJ is not big on public displays of emotion, so I promised. I wasn't sure how I was going to manage it... but it was important to her, so I promised.

I did really well. I watched with dry eyes as the kids entered to gymnasium. Although when the procession music started our entire row looked directly at me and I heard Lula inquire "Is she crying yet?"  I listened with dry eyes as various teachers gave speeches on the accomplishments of the graduating class and the promise of their exciting futures. A sideways glance from Mike every once in a while to check on my progress. I was surprising everyone, mostly myself actually!

KJ & Dad

Then they started recognising students for special achievements. They began calling to the stage, the 10 students being honored with the Citizenship Award and there was my KJ's name! I looked at Mike (which I shouldn't have done.) his eyes reflected what I felt in my heart...Tremendous pride! I choked a little there but I quickly regained my composure. Reminding myself that if my daughter can demonstrate excellence in upholding the four pillars of Citizenship; Respect, Leadership, Academics and Teamwork, I could find the strength to suppress my emotions as requested. I did it! It was not easy, that was a curve ball neither one of us knew was coming!

I held it together while she crossed the stage later in the ceremony to collect her diploma and I held it together through the video highlight montage. I successfully exited the gymnasium with my kleenex still tucked carefully, accessibly and dry in my pocket.

Outside we located KJ and I hugged her, congratulated her and told her how proud I am. I did it all and a tear never escaped my eye!

We left her at the school for her dance as we returned home, a heart filled with pride and a head filled with the intense inter cranial pressure of uncried tears.

So I did well, better than I imagined actually. I've managed to write this entire post with only 1 box of tissues!

Mom & Dad with the Graduate!

Spend some moment everyday in reflection of gratitude and happiness. Even if the time found is standing in line for coffee...use is wisely.


Michelle


Did this post brighten your day? make you smile? If so I'd be ever so grateful if you shared it on Facebook or Twitter. Someone else might be in need of a smile - Thanks!

Once I Ruled the World

I used to be fantastic! Don't laugh, it's true. There was once a time when I made the world go-round. Granted the world was small, but I ruled it magically. I was the queen of playdough and silly songs and playground coolness. With a single word I could make everything right with the world, ridding it of monsters and bullies and sadness. There was even a time when I used to have the answers to some of life's toughest questions.

In just a few short years my reign has come to an end.  Now the most magical thing I can produce is a ride to the mall. The only answers I have are incorrect and the only thing I can make right is spaghetti.

How does that happen? I'll tell you...

First we teach kids how to talk, then they learn to talk back. We teach them to explore their world and they learn that there is more out there than we can offer them. We teach them to stand up for themselves, and they stand up against us. We teach them to make choices but we never suspect that they will choose things we don't agree with. We ask them to be responsible and they don't need us so much anymore. We tell them to grow up, and they do.

Knowing all of this doesn't make a bit of difference. The job of a parent is to teach people not to need you anymore. You still have to encourage them to speak, to explore, to be strong, thoughtful and responsible. You still have to teach them to grow up. (Despite how painful those teen years are going to prove to be.)

I have discovered that as you become less and less fantastic you need to have some sanity saving strategies.

I'm not going to lie...

• I use country music like garlic. I play it loud. It keeps everyone out of my hair long enough to get the housework done.
• I creep facebook pages and twitter posts. With my online urban dictionary bookmarked I can almost figure out just how much discomfort I'm dishing out and adjust accordingly.
• I listen to people with little children fret and complain and in my mind I reminisce about the days when my troubles were small and I ruled the world. (FYI that grin on my face is is more Cheshire cat than 'isn't that cute', if you only knew what you're in for)
• I weep. I don't cry, crying is for babies. Weeping is the battle song of those enduring inevitable adversity. (just a note here; they know they bring you to tears but they must not know when, weep in private)
• I have a safe room, a place I go to rant or weep. Lately the garage has been my safe room. Michael's motorcycle is there, so is Michael. We are a team...this is our situation room. (just a note here; ranting is a good tool to use openly on occasion, it keeps everyone on their toes, be the ticking time bomb)
• Perhaps my most effective strategy is to let Michael take one for the team. I let him be the bad guy, he knows I'm going to throw him under the bus and he's good with that (like he has a choice) We talked about this a long time ago. I did the labour and delivery thing, his sacrifice here might just make us even. 'Even' is going to be important if we are going to enjoy staring at each other in an empty house not many years from now.

I know that the teenage years are the final push that will present us with fabulous adults to share time and conversation with. I just want to laugh along the way. I don't want to wait until after because well, truth be told I'm not convinced I'm going to come out with enough marbles to remember what I wanted to laugh about. I'm also a little afraid that it might be like childbirth and I might forget everything.

If you are still fabulous and the ruler of the world...soak it in! If you are no longer fabulous and in the heat of battle...chin-up, fist bump, fist bump, boooyahh...you can do this! (we can do this? can't we?) If you are on the other side enjoying your adults...do share...what got you there? what was your best strategy?



Spend some moment everyday in reflection of gratitude and happiness. Even if the time found is standing in line for coffee...use is wisely.


Michelle


Did this post brighten your day? make you smile? If so I'd be ever so grateful if you shared it on Facebook or Twitter. Someone else might be in need of a smile - Thanks!

How Did We Get Here?

Every once in a while I pull into the driveway, switch off the engine, reach for the door handle, glance up at the house and think; How did I get here? I don't mean How did I get here, as in the grand cosmic-esk question of existence and praise of good fortune. I mean "How did I get here? I don't remember the stop lights, the left turn, right turn, left turn. I don't remember my daily romantic traffic interlude with Audi-man. I'm not even sure if I obeyed road rules and speed limits." This is when I check my rear-view for the officer who must be pulled in behind me blocking my escape route.

This really does happen and not just to me! A great number of people arrive home daily via 'autopilot'.
Knowing we share the road is not comforting.

So when I have those moments I realize that my mind must have been on things more complicated than driving. Issues related to the cosmic-esk version of the question "How did i get here?"

I opened a drawer the other day and found a tiny picture. It stopped me in my tracks. It occurred to me that the 'arrival' phenomenon is not exclusive to driving in my life. This is what I found...(I've paired it with it's current counter part)

KJ then & now

I starred at it and asked the cosmic-esk version of the question "How did we get here?"
A word of caution, you may want to avoid the roads in the area where I live. I still have places to go but as you can probably figure out from the picture, I have alot on my mind and none of it is about driving. I'll be trying to remember the details of our journey.


Spend some moment everyday in reflection of gratitude and happiness. Even if the time found is standing in line for coffee...use is wisely.


Michelle


Did this post brighten your day? make you smile? If so I'd be ever so grateful if you shared it on Facebook or Twitter. Someone else might be in need of a smile - Thanks!