Breaking Out

Today is all about breaking your stride. Not slowing down or stopping but moving in an unexpected direction. I always chuckle to myself when I see those folk power walking through the mall or on a stroll through the neighbourhood. Those people on a mission – full bent for their destination and not letting anything get in their way. Those people go places and they are very likely to meet the destination they have set for themselves. Their bodies march to an internal forward, forward, forward, forward rhythm that propels them from A-B. I know the charge of following that rhythm, it has gotten me out of a lot of shopping malls!

It is the rhythm that moves you. It is rhythm that moves all of us. Rhythm is actuality is the universal common denominator. Music is built on rhythm. Our bodies respond to rhythm, in fact they don’t just respond to it they operate on it; your heartbeat, breathing, brainwaves, hormone cycles – all rhythmic. The same is true for the natural world; the tides, lunar phases, seasons, precipitation cycles – all dependable, constant, predictable, and rhythmic. What about how we live? Everyday a flow of traffic is running a constant stop and go pattern. Most of us have a pattern of work and rest both daily and within a weekly rotation. We follow rhythms we've establish or have had established for us at work, day in day out, sun up sun down, breath in breath out – life has a rhythm.

Rhythm is a very good thing...until it is not. I have missed some very great bargains following that rhythmic “get the heck out of here” mall march in my head. Getting on a bad rhythm is different than a bad habit. A bad habit is a single behaviour that you repeat regardless of the knowledge that it is doing you no good. Rhythm is how we have learned to flow through our days we don’t think about it, it just propels us along developing a bad rhythm is easier than you think. Good or bad that rhythm you've developed is a comfort to you. I learned that way back in design school. White pillow, blue pillow, white pillow, blue pillow, is the subconscious calmer. The 'thing' in the room that you can't quite put your finger on that gives you a sense of peace and comfort. It does not matter if the material is ugly and hard on the eyes; gross pillow, ugly pillow, gross pillow, ugly pillow has the same calming effect as pretty pillow, cute pillow, pretty pillow, cute pillow. It is the rhythm that makes you feel good.

That is why even people who are stuck in bad rhythms think they are navigating life just fine. They are comfortable even if their rhythm is; stay up late, sleep till noon, score some 'help', hang with friends, talk about a job, stay up late, sleep till noon, score some 'help', hang with friends.... It's their rhythm. It comforts them.

Now, maybe your rhythm is not that dire, maybe your rhythm is get up, make lunches, go to work, eat a salad, pay some bills, come home, catch up with friends, watch some TV go to bed. Nothing wrong with that.

There is nothing wrong with your Rhythm if you are happy with where you are and what you are achieving. There is nothing wrong with your rhythm if you don't want something different for your life. What if you do though, want something different for your life? You need to break your stride! You need to stop the left foot right foot chant in your head that is moving you toward the mall exit and turn left! You need to throw a orange pillow into the white pillow, blue pillow pattern. That monster house with the purple door stuck between to cookie cutter homes on any street in suburbia catches the attention of everyone – I promise!

If you want to move yourself to a different place, a different reality, a happier state, you need to break your rhythm. Do something out of the ordinary, Draw attention to the thing you want in your life. If you want to be happier – buy a stranger a coffee today. If you want to move ahead in your career pick up the phone and call someone you've never talked to before. If you want to improve a relationship go out for coffee tonight with that person instead of settling in for the usual sitcom and a cup of tea. If you want to expand and grow and your business and your rhythm is based on talking; try listening. If you always have to be in control let someone else tell you what they think today and really listen. Take a piece of it and incorporate it into your rhythm.

Step out of line, move to the right, do the unexpected. Break your stride.

Chain Reaction Shopping

We made 3 major purchases this past weekend.

We had to breakdown and purchase some new cutlery.
We had our old set for 20 years, that's pretty good.
Most of the spoons now reside in the cafeteria garbage, consequently
I was eating yogurt with a camping spork last week. I have even borrowed
spoons from the neighbour recently to have company for chili Saturday.

Everyone is going to be happy with this purchase!

I bought underwear. Perhaps the biggest purchase over the 3 days of shopping.
I don't buy underwear. Having to do so makes me irate actually. I needed some however and I had a gift card so I hit the mall. Don't let the teeny tiny bag fool you. There is some serious underwear inside.

Our first 2 purchases led to this purchase. I can't help but think that if I avoided purchase #1 I would not be so discouraged by purchase #2.  None the less #3 might be the most important purchase. I used to walk an hour everyday, I used to do a job that had me on my feet burning 1200 calories. Now I walk to the car - from the car to my desk where I collect calories not expend them.

Gratitude today to Michael who got fed up with eating cereal with a fork, believes in new underwear and has faith in my commitment to improving my health. (or my guilt -time will tell)

Gratitude, Hope and Smiles are meant to be shared.

Michelle

You Said You Would Go, Now Do it Gracefully

Another 'my mother used to say' catch phrase, only this time I don't really despise it like the majority things my mother said through my childhood. This one I kind of appreciate. I have even used it on my own children, without that terror that usually presses down on me when I find myself sounding like my mother.

I remember the first time I heard her say it, she was sitting on the edge of her bed staring into the mirror, brushing her hair or putting on mascara. We were getting ready for an old lady party.The kind where they serve cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off and everybody smells like lilacs. I was 13 or 14 and I really, REALLY did not want to spend my Sunday afternoon sipping tea and eating gerchins. I was complaining profusely. (I know that now because I have a 14 year old, that's how they complain) At some point in my objection my mother put down what she was doing, looked me straight in the eye and said it "You said you would go, now do it gracefully." She had me and I hated her for it. There was no rebuttal that could knock that line off it's podium. I had said I would go. I was locked in for the afternoon.

Motherhood has taught me that my Mother didn't want to go either. However, she said she would so she was going to do it gracefully. Her survival technique was to drag me along with her. (why should she suffer alone)

While at the time I shot daggers at my mom for so skillfully putting me in my place, this really is a line that has gotten me through (and to) a great deal in my life. For someone who suffered immobilizing anxiety for most of her life, getting to things is challenging, getting through things is critical. Even now that I've over come 90% of my anxiety issues I lean on this line for those social engagements that I'm still working to overcome. But conquering mental illness is a story for another day.

For today I am grateful that "You said you would, now do it gracefully" got me through the weekend. The reverberating line got me through dog sitting (well, this line,a bottle of Prosolve and a healthy dose of Advil). 'You said you would' got me to the ice rink for a skate with my son and my husband. 'Do it gracefully' prevented broken bones. 'You said you would' is getting me dressed for the office today when I would much rather be curled up with a hot coffee, my thoughts and my keyboard. 'You said you would' got a less than great feeling Lula to work on Sunday, 'Do it gracefully' got her to the end of her shift with a smile on her face. 'You said you would' kept KJ on task catching up with her studies and studying for exams. 'You said you would' got the dog for a walk and the laundry done. 'Do it gracefully' got me through a stranger encounter this weekend and will coach me through the death claim calls I will have to make this week.

Of all of the things my mother has given to me in my life, this line may be the most valuable. I'm grateful for that.

Gratitude, Hope & Smiles are meant to be shared.
Michelle

Maybe today

Maybe today I will get done the things on my to do list, I will get the laundry folded, the floors washed and the basement organized.

Maybe today will be the day that I improve my health through exercise and rebalancing my diet, or improve my finances by rebalancing my cheque book.

Maybe today I will heal a strained relationship or reach out to that person who has shut the world out.

Maybe today I will get rid of the clutter that is holding me to the past. There is a lot of past I love to hold on to but equally as much I need to let go of. Maybe today is the day I will free up that real estate for new memories.

Maybe today I will solve a problem, learn something new, share some knowledge.

Maybe today I will stop leaving 5 minutes later than intended, drive 5 kilometres slower than usual and arrive with 5 minutes to spare.

Maybe today I will have more patience with my children, my husband my dog. Maybe I will spend more time listening than talking and make 'in a minute' - 'this minute'.

Maybe today I will buy coffee for a stranger or smile at a passer by, perhaps I will leave someone with a smile and a brighter outlook for the day.

Maybe today I won't be shy about asking for what I want and telling people how I feel.

Maybe today I will write. For myself, for someone else, for a larger audience.

Maybe today I will ask someone else to believe in me.

Maybe today I will get the driveway paved or the paint the bathroom, maybe I will organize the laundry room or buy a new dining set.

Maybe today I will attend an event full of strangers without anxiety, fear or self consciousness. Maybe I will smile, meet new people, make new friends.

Maybe today I will worry less about what people think and worry more about how I make them feel.

Maybe today I will take my kids shopping or to a movie or on a vacation.

Maybe today I will get noticed or do the thing that puts me in front of the people I want to notice me.

Maybe today I will take note of the things that bring me joy and do more to nurture them.


Today is a day of infinite possibilities, the first day of a New Year, a brand new chance to get it right. Anything is possible but nothing; not love, or happiness, not success, personal satisfaction or laundry folding is attainable without intention.

Today is the day of realization that the Great Life is not going to fall out of the sky. Change requires planning, goal setting, personal inspection. Today is the day.

Today is the day to stick a post-it-note on the bathroom mirror that says "Maybe today..."

Today is the day to answer that question and make a plan to fulfil the goal.

Today is the day to change the screen saver from cute kittens to "Maybe today..." to put a note on the fridge, in the car, in a lunch bag, wallet, coat pocket, desk drawer... "Maybe today..."

The opportunity exists as equally with the rising of the sun each morning as it does with the strike of Midnight each year. Every day is another opportunity to ask the question "what are the Maybes?" What are the actions that will create the reality desired.

Today is the day to take the steps, move the mountains and follow the next right choice.

Today is the day to be grateful for the lessons of the past, the promise of the future and the ability to design your life.

Best wishes for a New Year filled with New Days and New Opportunities

Michelle