Spring is in the air! It’s wonderful to point your face to
the sun and jump over melting rivulets of snow. Birds are singing and
celebrating and everywhere around us Nature seems to be waking up to a brand
new beginning. It’s Blissful!
Or should be (especially after the winter just
endured)...but it’s not. Not for everyone, for some of us there is something
else in the air—Melancholy. I say it is in the air because so many seem to
suffer at this time of year but to be more exact it is a low vibration of
unease running in the ground beneath our feet. It makes us feel ‘unstable’. It
is disconcerting and powerful and reaches into us the way the roots of a tree
reach into the earth, seeking water and foundation. Melancholy reaches into us
looking for a home, something to feed on and cling to. It asks questions we
don’t know how to answer and exposes truths we’d rather ignore.
I’ve come to believe that each of us is subject to an annual
review; a meeting with the spirit for some personal reflection. Our spirit
wants to check-in, wants to know how we are progressing on our path of true
nature, and demands an account of the difference we are making in the world. It
wants openness and honest answers. It wants an action plan.
It’s your soul on the hot seat.
My time for a spirit review seems to arrive with the first
robin. I can always feel it coming but it always takes a day or two to realize
it’s here. There really is no better way to describe the feeling that to say it
is a bit of an ‘UN-do-ing’ wherein everything feels to be un-ravelling. I
become momentarily un-happy—with my work, my capacity to love, the level of
devotion to people and things that bring me great joy. I question whether I am
living passionately and wonder if I will ever uncover my purpose. The questions
are tough; Am I loving enough?, forgiving enough?, sharing authentically with
the world?, being true to my spirit?, am I making a dent?, a difference?, am I weaving joy or sorrow into the lives around me? Am I doing what I am meant to
do with my life?
It’s UN-peace. And many years ago I would have let it take
me in a spiral, but I have come to understand that it is UN-peace in the pursuit
of growth, UN-rest on the path to authentic living, UN-happiness preluding
greater joy. There is no way through but through.
Allowing yourself time to ponder the questions, giving yourself
honest answers and forgiving yourself when you hear truths you’d rather deny. It
is UN-comfortable and UN-nerving but it is the underside of growth.
It seems a very strange thing to share—my Spring Melancholy ‘UN-do-ing’
but I’ve noticed that Spring, with all of it’s new beginnings, promises of
brighter days ahead and growth seems to be a time of UN-do-ing for many more
than me. I just want to share that you are not alone.
Grab the hand of someone also in the woods and help each
other through. It won't take long.
Love
M
