Saturday, March 26, 2011

Pssst, Pass the Remote

Michael celebrated another birthday this week. I say 'another' like he's an old fart, he's not old exactly (that would make me old too and well, no.) He has reached an age however where he has everything and no one is really quite sure what to buy him. Which leads to gifts like this....

The "Man Remote" has some clever control options. Clearly designed by a man, as evidenced by the "nagging" more/less and "fetch" features.
Michael put the gift from his dad in the coffeetable tray along with the rest of our life controls. It sits there destined to collect dust and the occasional chuckle. I've caught Michael using the remote a couple of times and I'm pretty sure it doesn't operate on the same frequency as our home.

I know the "super mute" buttons don't work. I tried the children button on Wednesday but only 1 of the 6 children went silent. Mike commented yesterday that the beer he requested on Thursday still hasn't been delivered. Some buttons work....the channel selector is effective, we've been watching a lot of sports. I used "clean carpet" on E-man the other day when he decided the livingroom was the ideal place to glue up his 3rd grade bridge project. He wiped up the glue before I had to use the increase nagging feature.

For the most part though I think it has a glitch or two. I used the "Clean" button on KJ and requested her room receive the attention. This must have confused the remote because this is what I got...
She did. The room is now messier than when she started out. Actually all she really had to do was make her bed, put her laundry away and vacuum. Then she got this crazy idea to empty her closet and drawers, her desk and her dresser. The remote worked too well. She decided to dump and purge, send clothes to the shelter and off load some mess to her brother disguised as novelties she has outgrown. Yes, the remote worked too well and that must have drained the remaining power. I can't get it to work at all now. I've pushed the clean button and the nag button, the fast button, the mute button...nothing works and I can't find the battery door.

Now the only buttons that are getting pushed are mine. I am grateful however that I am not going to be required to chauffeur anyone to the movies this weekend. I won't need to worry about supplying a back massage on a moments notice and the amount of affection I shower is completely at my discretion.

For the record I'm old enough to remember when we used to have to get up, walk across the room and turn the channel by hand. I guess with the Man Remote on the fritz we'll have to do things the old fashioned way. I'm off to do some nagging...Have a fun Saturday...Be grateful!