Thursday, August 16, 2012

I'm Up...Let's Get Moving

Everyday we are purging ourselves one step closer to staking the 'For Sale' sign into the front lawn, the closer we get the less I sleep. I become a victim of insomnia fed by one part worry and two parts excitement and a to-do list that goes viral in the moonlight. Paint, replace baseboard, pack-up, store away, minimize, de-clutter, sterilize (both virtually and emotionally) trim, tidy, nag, shine, polish and primp. Remarkably we are only a week or two behind schedule!

A schedule I'm not sweating too much, okay I am but I am pretending like heck that I'm not. Everything in it's right time...right? That is the 'thing' I'm working on right now; improving my tolerance for the slow coarse. Typically I want things when I want them which stiffens a body with tension when every aspect of your life is at the mercy of someone or something else. Waiting for approvals and markets, for the right home, the right buyer, the best rates. If I could wiggle my nose and blink my eyes to make it so you know it would be done. This is where Mike and I are polar opposites, he could wait a thousand years with a smile on his face and a song in his heart, for all the pegs to fall into their right holes. It drives me nuts, there is never any panic or pressure and I wonder what it must be like to live your life in such a perpetual state of zen. Is it possible and more importantly could I get anyone to take me seriously?

So the schedule and the to-do list are robbing me of sleep which is causing my skin to regress into some adolescent stress response. Some days I can't see because my wrinkle cream reacts with the acne cream and causes my eyes to burn. I am pretty sure the rest of the world probably thinks I am either perpetually in tears or high as a kite and probably settle on the latter explanation after 30 seconds of conversation. I'm a tad punchier and giddier at the moment too. Partially to be blamed on sleep deprivation and partly on excitement!

We have lived in our current home for almost 9 years, it has been a lot of fun, we have done a great amount of growing here, made some great friends and learned a lot of life lessons. The most important one perhaps is that there is always a trade. You have to choose; boxes or bags, shoes or sandals, mashed or fries. What I have learned is that a person can accomplish a lot trying to build a life, then one day you sit back and look at everything you didn't choose and suddenly your life doesn't fit anymore. You stand in  the middle of everything you have and you feel a little lost. I always think of showing up to the beach in a business suit; you might look like a million bucks but you're going to to be uncomfortable as hell and you probably won't enjoy yourself as much as you could.

Time for us to change our course in a move I've labeled operation 'Downsize life to upsize living' everyone is on board. E is helping scout great new homes for our family. KJ our in house organizational guru is fixing up closet and cupboard spaces and optimizing our 'room'. Lula is keeping the mood light. Mike is keeping us calmly on course and I am keeping the night watch. I have no clue what exactly I'm watching for except that it must be something great. It takes something pretty exciting like the arrival of Christmas morning or summer holidays for me to submit to being awake and happy about it at 3am.

Gratitude today for adventures and the ability to re-chart your course as you go so that you don't miss any of the scenery you were hoping to see along the way.

Gratitude, Hope  and Smiles are meant to be shared :)