This is my very
beautiful Lula. Beautiful on the inside with her compassionate heart,
her genuine concern for other people, amazing sense of humour and
creative energies beyond your wildest imagination. This is my very
beautiful Lula. Beautiful on the outside with eyes that captivate, a
smile that lights up a room, A bouncy bun of thick gorgeous curls, a
confidence in her walk and a presence that attracts the comments of
complete strangers. “your daughter is beautiful”
This is my beautiful
Lula. Inside and out. I see it. My Lula doesn't see it. My Lula looks
in the mirror and doesn't like what she sees. My Lula looks in the
mirror and sees a girls who needs to be trimmer and fitter. She sees a girl
who no one takes seriously, who gets over looked and placated.
Is that the girl you
see? If you know my Lula I bet you don't see that, I bet you see the
girl who always makes you smile, has a kind word to share, the girl
who would do anything for her friends. You probably see the girl who
is always going out of her way to make sure things are right in your
world, who will give up homework, family time, her favourite movie,
video game or adventure if you need a shoulder to lean on. You
probably see the little girl who gave her favourite big bubbly
plastic ring to a kindergarten classmate who lost her own down the
sewer drain. You probably see the girl who can find art in
everything. You probably see the girl with the beautiful eyes and the
confident walk all nestled under a perky puffy bun of auburn curls.
If you know my Lula, that is probably who you see. As a Mom and as a
human being am very humbled to know such a beautiful soul.
If you don't know my
Lula, you might be wondering how can such a beautiful and amazing
girl have such a negative impression of herself? How can she think
that what she sees in the mirror is not enough. How can she not see
what everybody else sees?
First she has a mother
who has failed to celebrate her enough. Second she has siblings,
siblings in teenage years can be your very best friend, they are also
notoriously hurtful and mean spirited to one another. Third she has
friends who don't take her seriously, they feed on her humour and
can't imagine that she is hurting inside. And yes she is a teenager
trying to find her way in the world and identify who who is. Those
things don't do much for a person's self esteem.
I am the mom of this
beautiful girl and I wish that I could talk so she could hear me. I
wish I could say all of the things she needs to hear to recognize the
incredible young woman she is. We have a deadlock in our home. Lula
thinks that I'm not listening, but I am, I just can't see all of the
things she thinks she is not, I can only see all the amazing thing
she is. I see them and I tell her, the trouble is that she can't hear
all of the amazing things. She can only hear all the things she
thinks she is not.
Being the mom of a
teenage girl is heart wrenching at times because of the potential you
see in your daughter, because they often times fail to see it
themselves and because all of the talk from you in the world does not
have the power of a single word from a stranger or a friend.
Gratitude today to the
people who see my beautiful Lula and have the words that I don't have
to help her see what she can't see.
Have I made the
situation seem desperate? Yesterday was a day like I've written
above. Fortunately, my beautiful Lula is also grounded in reality and
has a great amount of support and a very equal number of fabulous
days.
I let her read this
post before making it public and she gave me her permission to share
it. With the caveat “It is beautifully written, except those spots
that make it sound like I am depressed about myself. Maybe for a few
minutes yesterday maybe I was, but I'm good again.”
So this is really why I
wrote this piece. To help Lula identify the blip on the radar screen.
To remind her that we all have those days and to remind the rest of
us...
That not everyone has more great days then bad blips. To remind us that people don't always see themselves the way we see them, that sometimes we can't see that people need to hear about their beautiful.
When you are out and
about today recognize the beautiful in someone – not just in your
head but out loud so someone else can recognize it. We all need to
hear it sometimes
from people who have the words we can hear.
Michelle
